Sunday, July 25, 2010

Feeling Blah

I can't wait for the summer to be over. I didn't think I would ever say that because I'm really not looking forward to this semester. It is going to be the most difficult one yet. I have over 60 observation hours to complete, along with four video-taped lessons that I have to teach, and Dr. Zane's American Novel class. I haven't read any of the books yet, and that's my own fault, but it is summer time and I feel that I should have this time to relax. The books aren't that long and I will be able to get through them easily.

I am looking forward to this semester in some ways. It is my last semester as a live-in college student. The spring semester will be my student teaching (which I think will be lonely and possibly boring). I really have to make an effort to enjoy this semester! College has gone by SO fast. :( I never thought it was going to end, but now here it is. It's almost over.

This is one of my latest photos that I edited. It's my eye; I just did lots of crazy things to it. Some of them are tinted, on others I changed the eye color, and others I changed the eye color and added eye shadow and eye liner.

I still really love doing this to pictures. It's somewhat of a stress relief for me. I enjoy just sitting back and being creative with pictures and letting my creativity spew forth.

I've wanted to do a collage like this for quite some time. I finally found the right picture to do it with, and I'm very pleased with the results.

I've been really emotional lately, and I'm not sure if it's because my college life is coming to an end and I'm just stressed about that, or if I'm slipping back into a depression again. Some of my emotions make me think that my depression might be coming back, like how aware of my weight I am. When I'm not depressed, I don't think about that at all and the weight comes off easier. I was working so hard this summer to lose weight and I only lost 1 or 2 pounds, but gained them right back. It's really hard to try to lose weight in the summer when you don't have something to cook with! I really feel like when the semester starts back up I'll be able to lose the weight better. I'll be really busy (no time to just eat when I'm bored), the salad bar will always be available to eat, I have scheduled times to go to the gym during the week, and my motivation will be stronger.

I can understand that maybe my emotions are just from getting ready to exit the college scene, because that's a pretty emotional thing to go through. I hope that's all it is. I don't want to go back on that medication. It made my hair fall out. It did help me lose 5-7 pounds though. But still, I don't wanna go back on it. I don't wanna be dependent on it.

This year will be rough without Seth. I spent ALL my time with him last year. He's the best, the greatest, the most wonderfulest ever. I have my friends, of course, that I'll be spending time with, and I'm on the event planning committee this year, but just not having Seth there for me will be hard. I like going to give him a big hug after a hard day, and I am really REALLY going to miss eating all my meals with him :( :(

It will be ok though. I'll have a lot of fun even though he's not here, and I'll get to see him often. I just really hope he gets the job at UC. I realllllly feel like he's going to get it, I just wish they'd contact him soon. It is going to be really exciting for him, and for me!

I'm so ready for some parts of this next year, but very not ready for other parts......

Until next time,

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